Lately however, these movies have lost their appeal to me. I cringe when the characters portray those all consuming feelings as it reminds me how recently I've seen that kind of overpowering love from a completely different perspective and the consequences of that emotional bond that I never really seriously consider before. I've seen the potential of that kind of love become so powerful as to destroy the bond between parent and child, sister to sister, brother to sister. I stood in the gap as this family reeled at the loss of their daughter in daily increments until all fellowship was eventually lost.
It was 'eros' love that completely took over all the reigns of common sense in both lovers while they completely lost themselves in one another.
At first everyone celebrated this seemingly 'too-good-to-be true wonderful man that waltzed into their and their daughter's life. Never did they imagine that this 'academy-award' performance would like all movies, come to an abrupt horrific end. Was he really prince charming? Maybe he WAS that prince charming but this obsessive eros love had so consumed him that it become his master and lord and changed him almost instantly to a over protective, controlling man determined to win over the girl of his hearts obsessive desire. His control over her was hypnotic and quite frightening as she willingly lost all sense of who she was, and let this man become her everything. She became more than just a chameleon of him but by osmosis she blended into him so much so that you couldn't see the difference between her and him. I sat restricted behind the wall they built and watched eros-love divide and conquer all in its path. I felt shear pity for the struggling mom who was side-swiped and dumbfounded by was what happening as she desperately searched for some kind of familiar trace in her daughter that she recognized. She became incapcitated as she fought to preserve a dwindling relationship that was doomed from the first kiss. Instead of the joy of welcoming a new member into the fold she had to grieve the loss of one who was the apple of her eyes and she was powerless change anything. She was in a battle with eros-love, a battle she could not win.
This wasn't the sweet love that the mother experienced 25+ ago, nor was it that joyous love she enjoyed in all those wonderful romantic movies. No, this was obsessive love determined to put at much space between the dear daughter and her entire family. The father suffered in silence as he watched his daughter's ambiance drift away as a rip tide pulls a swimmer helplessly from the shore. My heart sank as I watched the younger siblings as they painstakingly held on to every hope and clung to every remaining picture in the family album waiting with abated breath for that phone call, text message or e-mail from the one they adored.
I'm reminded of a movie in the early 80's titled Endless Love with Brooke Shields. It portrayed the descending sanity of her teen lover sprialing so low that he resorted to setting fire to her family's house just so he could get a glimpse of the object of his obsession which had been torn from him by the love and protection of a discerning father who saw the potential destruction of his dearly loved daughter. If memory serves me correct, the boy even tried to kill what stood between him and the breath of his life and ended up serving time in prison. I never thought much of that movie until I was propelled in this real life drama.
Sweet innocent love once portrayed in my favorite movies like Bounce or While You Were Sleeping has been transfigured to the bewitching love of movies like the Twilight series which propagates such dangerous bonds between two emotionally immature young people. I cannot partake in that same reckless joy that my DVD player once graced me with without exposing painful memories of a sweet love turned very sour.
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